Neglect

ThiNgs are happening way toO slow
I want to say every thing is okaay
but I cant seem to leave the past a lone
Even tho theres a shift in my habits
the feelings I inhabit
and my climate is off by the nearest hundredth

Somebody has to help me
because I can not help myself
Im missing yhuu in my head
my body re acts after dark
Realizing the truth
being pulled apart by 300 thread count sheets
because i keep tossing and turning

Let my heart do the talking
One time, then make the decision
because this is clearly neglect
Im crying , pouting and I still haven been saved
tell me why
why what did I do?

helpLess In aLL Angles of romance
I thought I was everything to you
but I guess everything I have won't do

UnOrthOdox

so i guess

i left...

aN irregular PatterN on how i BLoG,

FeLLow's ,Gents..

I repeNt.

LoL

My Thoughts are Not Bien wasted However I wanna Take a Minute && Counts my BlessiNgs.

ThanK God.

Thank Jesus.

He Loves Me :)

DoNt ask Me anything...

Why do people ask questions?

To get an answer ,right?

-Wrong.

Their is usually an assumption in every case of a question.

& there is always a hidden agenda.

Not to mention the person who's asks this question does not know who you truly are.

Or else they would not have to ask.

Bassically Im fed up.

I have Had enough of this exposition that im living in.

People think they know me and they dont.

Not even the person that gave birth to me completley know's who I am.

And they never will.

End of story.

What does it mean?

A few nights ago I had a dream that included a dragonfly.

Okay, yes you're probably wondering whats the significance in this.

Well,I believe in reincarnation- to an extent. and I always believed that my grandfather, who was very dear to me would become a dragonfly when he passed.

My grandmother (his wife) and I believed that.

So when I see a dragonfly , I respect its life as I had valued my Grandfathers when he was alive.

alrite so back to my dream...

This dream was a bad dream and it involved a dragonfly and an owl.

Now, the owl had lived in the same habitat as the dragonfly.

I believe the owl was going for something else but couldnt capture it so it went for the dragonfly.

In my dream i witnesses up close ..the owl killing the dragonfly.

It was graphic and disgusting. Turned my stomach

The dragonfly was gushing with what appeared as blue blood and it seemed like there was more blood then its little body could truly produce.

I really wish I could figure out what this means.

This gets me everytime...

Subliminal Messaging- is a signal or message embedded in another object, designed to pass below the normal limits of perception. These messages are indiscernible by the conscious mind, but allegedly affect the subconscious nor deeper mind...

Mind Blowing..

and so true......

A V A T A R

Avatar Definitely B E T T E R than the Titanic

Watched: 3x

Rating:10/10

Giver of Light

Soon the sun will rise. And the day will say farewell to the night.

It will begin to reign light into everyones lives

It will embrace your sorroundings and give guidance to every human being.

yeah this may not happen all at one time.

But a Re-occurring Miracle such as this is a gift from God.

To be shared with everyone, when the time is right.

He gives me: Agony as a present... [[My present State of Mind]]

I have watched yhuu go.I have watched yhuu leave .

&&ma question is : was I living a lie?

A torn heart,easy catastrophy..to the question.I am not at all ready to answer.

The question that keeps lingering in ma mind, in ma lifestyle and in my very soul.

I wonder if love will ever come and find me.

I dream once again, But my heart tells me no.

It tells me be ready for heartache.&Fear onli what yhuu do not know.

For the question still lingers inside of me..like a unwashed dish still soaking..am I living a lie?..

.I never thought of suicide genocide or homicide..my mind is toO smart for that.

But sometimes my emotions take me so far in. Im afraid that I can't come back.

Its like a bad dream,,taunting me in my sleep,,quick to remind me this could one day happen to me.

&& when I am sleep I have no choice but to belive..my body is subdued && in possession of that terrible dream untill I have enough stregnth to wake up.R E A L I T Y..

Tired from sleep,Both my soul and spirit.this question has as much power as I give it

. But I can conclude that my life is concealed with make up.I have concluded that I would no longer live in my scars but I would thrive in memories.but the questions arises as lies spread out like fire.

Contradicting ,my happiness..I blaze and sitt and cry out bliss because I don't know what it feels like to be completely and permantley happy..

so my question,..I have no answer..but truth and sadness being carried on untill I rekindle this deferred flame that continues after......prior thoughts in ma mind put me to sleep again. I ca feel the muscles in my heart..beat. In a way that ignites my spirit with heat.

The thought of it all disapeering keeps my soul at ease.. Though the task at hand is uneasy..

I go thru it && I weep.because I know that this all just a process and none of it is mine to keep.

But was it tOO wrong for me to question ma thoughts? Im questioning now because,,I wanna know..

Did it make sense to test my memory?..tell me no..

but if yhuu tell me otherwise please give what I had yet to realize..there is gap..or a missing link..let it be answered and not untold.

let me know what's happens to my world.

Agony

1.The suffering of intense physical or mental pain.

2. The struggle that precedes death.

3. A sudden or intense emotion: an agony of doubt.

4. A violent, intense struggle

wow....

Intro --N 2 Me--

iM dEfiNiteLy a Real person.

I have Friends and FamiLy.

I LoVe God.(For Me There is N O T H I N G greater)

You might hear me flip out oFten in my Blogs. But its a BlessiNg not a Curse.

I have One ThiNg In cOmmon with all of yOu: I AM HUMAN..

Not That I am a BlaCk Female who Chats about Her Life.

This is the Space where Everthing I thInk oF ToO MuCh,, You read.

To Know Me is to Hate or LoVe Me. (You see I put HATE 1st, it cud very much happen)

Your Choice to Decide,,

Its your Right. We are all HUMAN. HopefuLLy.